“I think there’s a difference between the romantic or nostalgic and the personal.”
My personal investigation explores the nostalgia that we can feel and experience through our daily observations of the world. The investigation started with the continuation of one of my previous projects in which I delved into my fascination with the city of London and how it has influenced my creative mind set. I began my research by dissecting the works of a collection of contemporary photographers such as Noah Dillon and Roe Ethridge as well as the California based art duo Jessica Haye and Clark Hsiao. A common theme of all of these photographers is the balance between the personal and commercial. As time began to pass and I began to collect my photographs I explored the history of fanzines and handmade books in underground sub cultures such as the Punk movement of the 1970s and 80’s. The result of my investigation was a multi-media installation showcasing a series of hand crafted zines and an originally scored short film exploring nostalgia. I had initially discovered the works of Haye and Hsiao through an image that they had taken of a young girl sitting in the back of a car. Her bright blonde hair swept over the top of her face covering her forehead, whilst her hands disguise the lower half. The always enigmatic musician Frank Ocean had stated how the photograph inspired many of the themes through out in his critically acclaimed album “Blonde”. In relation to the image Ocean said “Two years ago I found an image of a kid with her hands covering her face. A seatbelt reached across her torso, riding up her neck and a mop of blonde hair stayed swept, for the moment, behind her ears. Her eyes seemed clear and calm but not blank, the road behind her seemed the same. I put myself in her seat then I played it all out in my head. The claustrophobia hits as the seat belt tightens, preventing me from even leaning forward in my seat. the pressing on internal organs. I lean back and forward to release it. Then backwards and forward again. There it is—I got free." To research the image further I listened to the “Dissect” podcast series, in which the host discusses the eventful career of Frank Ocean. Through the podcast I discovered that the photograph was taken on the way to a memorial service in Las Vegas for the mother of the young girl. I realised that due to her age it is likely that she remains unaware of the severity of her mother's death. This youthful innocence is signified by her hand gesture, as well as her light shade of blonde hair which is commonly considered to be a trait of youth and innocence. During my research into the image I learned that the ever so elusive Ocean credits many of themes explored on his critically acclaimed album to the image. The theme of nostalgia and the desire to relive youth is present through the entirety of the album, most notably on the second song of the album where Ocean sings “I ain’t a kid no more, we’ll never be those kids again”. The key aspect of the photograph that stuck with me was the simplicity. The girl is the main thing that we are drawn to on first glance, the hand gesture used by the young child to cover her face distracts from the vast emptiness seen out of the window at the back of the car, it is almost as if the image is taken from the perspective of the child. All that she can perceive and all that matters is the present moment, meaning the empty desert background symbolises the rest of the world and all of the disappointments and heartbreaks that it holds, including the untimely death of her mother. Following my research into Haye and Hsiao I began to scour various photo books in search of something that would begin to connect the dots in my mind and allow me to start forming a theme or concept for my project. Whilst visiting the Tate Modern book shop I found “Neighbors” by American photographer Roe Ethridge. I was instantly drawn to his work through his combination of original and found imagery. The photo book in question predominantly features photographs of Ethridge’s close friends and family. This causes his photography to feel intimate and homely. There is a feeling of coldness present in many of the images from the photo book, most notably a collection of landscape and portrait photographs of a young girl playing on a beach. By looking at the dark, tonal colours present in both the foreground and the background (as well as the large, warm coat being worn by the girl) it can be inferred that it was taken during the winter season. This translates through the image creating a sense of nostalgia for past winters spent with family. The sections within the book in which Ethridge incorporates found imagery relay back to his commissioned commercial photography where he has worked with famous brands such as Balenciaga and Mercedes Benz. This began to forge a connection with his work and that of Haye and Hsiao. Both artists have openly spoken about their decisions to combine both commercial photography with their own personal images. Following my research into Ethridge I began to build a collection of photographs that I felt were able to translate the general ideas of nostalgia that I wanted to explore in a less conventional way. I would rather create an abstract and seemingly strange set of images than an overtly simplistic collection of images that lack any real substance. On a recent visit to the acclaimed Brighton photo bi-annual I was able to remove myself from my typical style of street photography, this was a necessary escape from my normal photography routine. On the trip I was able to explore a more organised and staged style of photography. The trip allowed me to explore a style much more in the vein of commercial fashion photography. Instead of focusing on multiple subjects I decided to only photograph one model, which helped me to get a better grasp of the aesthetic that I was trying to capture. The images that were the result of the visit to Brighton felt almost like a breakthrough of sorts. It had been a very long time since I had been as happy with my work as I was. The shoot began inside a church. I positioned my model on top of a elevated stand, I previously had altered the saturation and exposure on my camera creating a much brighter and textured image. I instructed my model to act as if he was preaching, as I was taking the images he threw his arms into a cross shape. He held in one hand a bottle of Sprite and in the other an old children’s toy. I immediately noticed the form that my model had taken, as the shoot continued I explored and carefully considered the form and shapes in every photograph. The next location of the shoot was down on the famous rocky beach where I was able to continue to amass a cohesive and thematic collection of images that subtly yet powerfully convey a feeling of nostalgia. Following on from our class visit to Brighton, I realised an underlying theme that ran throughout my first set of images for my personal project. By chance, on the day of the shoot and trip, the model wore a oversized beige suit jacket paired with a soft, pale yellow shirt. The suit made me think about how young people are often pushed out of their youth and into the grey world of work, in many cases the jobs that young people are forced into are jobs that they don’t want to do, the shape and style of the suit to me tells the tale of a person being forced to leave their youth against their wills. Moving forward with this theme, I created a short fan zine using both my images from Brighton and a carefully curated set of pop culture images that remind me of my early teenage years using threshold concepts 4 and 10 as a guide. Using photoshop I created a basic format which would enable me to create my own personal fan-zines. In the past I have designed and printed simple zines showcasing my street photography, my desire to create zines was birthed out of my love for underground musical subcultures where the creation of such books provides a way for artists to extend their creative outputs. In terms of this investigation I wanted to refine and master the art of making zines by hand. I designed and printed two different books titled “Prostrate” and “Inertia”. Within both of my zines I used Ethridge as my main inspiration. I was fascinated by the way in which he curated a collection of found 1960’s commercial imagery and incorporated it into his photo book. I chose to use various kinds of imagery from different aspects of pop culture, such as screen shots of suggested Youtube videos, an image taken from Stanley Kubrick’s 1980 horror/thriller film “The Shining”. Initially, my exploration into the incorporation of the pop culture images was purely experimental and surface level. At the time I was focused purely on aesthetics and not on substance, however over time I began to think about how much of an impact advertising and “pop” culture has had on us as a society. I began to view my abduction of seemingly unrelated imagery in a similar way to how I interpreted the famous performance art piece by the late Andy Warhol where he is seen to simply eat a hamburger. To me the sarcastic yet genius video represents the consumerist views of our Western society, my zines act almost as a guide through our culture of consumerism, predominantly the entertainment that we have the ability to consume through means such as the internet. Whilst experimenting with my process for creating zines I became aware that the pages didn’t flow as well as well as I would of liked in terms of content. I would often design pages with the intention of having a specific order, however due to the style in which I folded the paper the order would very rarely come into fruition. I fixed this by paying close attention to the folds making sure the planned order would work perfectly. By this stage in my investigation I felt as if I had started to find my footing in my project. After documenting the progress of my interest of Zine making, I stumbled upon the surreal and bright world of Noah Dillon. Dillon is an American photographer and half of the creative powerhouse Hot Mess (with Luka Sabbat). Hailing from Colorado (or what he describes as the middle of nowhere), Dillon began to post his photographs to instagram and his website. Before long he had been flown to California where he would have an exhibition at the popular “Milk Studios”. Much like Ethridge, Haye and Hsiao, Dillon is able to combine both commercial works (listed brands include The North Face and Off White co) with personal photography. Since early 2017 he has released two editions of a Hot Mess Photo book showcasing the surreal beauty of Dillons photography. The work showcased at both of the Hot Mess exhibitions in New York and Los Angeles inspired the route in which I would take stylistically going forward into my investigation into the feeling of Nostalgia. I wanted to explore the style of Dillon’s photography by creating a response continuing with the motif of my models wearing oversized suits in order to emphasise the theme of moving past our youth. After various photoshoots I turned my attention to my final piece and the various ways in which I could present the outcome of my personal investigation as a complete body of work. I instantly knew that I wanted to create a zine as part of my outcome, however this didn’t feel complete and wouldn’t bring the project to a appropriate close. Instead of looking outwards I decided to look at myself as a creative in hope of finding a way of perfecting my investigation. During past projects I have struggled with. To being able to express myself to the fullest due to the fact that in my own time I am passionate about music, fashion, design and film, to be able to include various different creative outlets into my project would be far more interesting than just creating one piece from one type of field. I wanted to continue the concepts that I had explored within my photoshoots and various fan-zines, to progress my work further I felt that I could create a short three to five minute film which would act as a video version of the physical books that I had hand made over the duration of the personal investigation. I subsequently also had the realisation that I could create the musical score to parter the video, thereby allowing me to express various different artistic paths that interest me. In the exact same way as in my hand made fan-zines, I began to build an archive of short video clips for my short film using Youtube as a means of collection. Whilst selecting the videos I continued to look for pop culture references, I came up with the idea of interrupting the famous references with originally filmed clips of the sky in order to build a dream like atmosphere. I was particularly drawn to clips where the sky is either white or pink, the pink sky clip was taken during a day of personal happiness, the soft colour acts as a direct representation of the feeling that the memory of the day gives me. By combining both personal footage (with attached memories) and classic pop culture references such as the infamous OJ Simpson Police chase, I feel that the video achieves my aim of creating memory triggers causing the audience to feel nostalgic. A long side the video I composed an ambient musical score in hopes of building up on the dreamy atmosphere created by the collection of video clips. The score was created using the Ableton music software. During the production process I selected various soft synth pad sounds, building layers of chord progressions providing an ambient sound. Instead of using a more traditional drum loop, I layered a cowbell with a ticking hi hat, I felt that this continued with the ambience of the song. Before presenting the final outcome of my investigation I felt that it was vital for me to create one final zine that shows how my ideas have evolved since the start of the project. My final zine continued to explore the feelings of nostalgia that can be felt in our day to day observations. Visually I was able to refine the balance between original photography and interpolated imagery. To create the zine I used photoshop where I was able to explore the various different techniques that I had experimented with throughout the entirety of the investigation. The original photographs that I used for my final zine were predominantly taken on the trip to Brighton, the images that came out of that day are some of the most interesting that I feel I have ever taken. Using the works of Ethridge and Dillon as a starting point I was create a set of images that combined the surreal with a more commercial style. In terms of the found imagery used in my zine, I continued to incorporate symbols of pop culture as well as scattered religious iconography and writing. I chose to title this zine “From the Heart”. To tie all of my work together I had to decide on a way of presenting both the zine and the short film. I had mindsmapped various different ways of how I could do this, one being a simple table showcasing the zines paired with a projector playing the video. This was not the idea that I wanted to run with as I feel that it doesn’t allow the work to be shown at its full potential. Subsequently I had the idea that the multiple zines that I had created over the course of my investigation could be presented in the style of a book shop. I began to draw a sketches of how I would want to present this. In order to create the effect of a shop I would need to place the different zines on a shelf. Using a small wooden shelf from the classroom Iwas able to craft my installation. Alongside the shelf with zines, I decided to use a painted white plinth to house a title card for the project. Beneath the shelf I projected my short film onto a white wall, this created a strong ambience, the faintness of the image relayed the themes of nostalgia and past memories. After taking a step back and viewing my entire installation I realised that was an issue with light in relation to being able to view the shelf holding the zines. The issue was solved by controlling three different spotlights that were positioned above the shelf allowing the zines to visible without obscuring the video projection. I decided to title the piece “From the Heart” as this ties together all of the different forms of media and allows for the zine and the video to considered one final product. Overall I feel that my installation was effective in conveying the ideas feeling nostalgia through our everyday observations of the world around us. BIBLIOGRAPHY Roe Ethridge https://aperture.org/blog/roe-ethridge-interview/ Roe Ethridge “Neighbors” photobook https://mackbooks.co.uk/products/neighbors-br-roe-ethridg Frank Ocean quote https://frankocean.tumblr.com/image/149245577141 Frank Ocean Dissect Podcast https://dissectpodcast.com/tag/frank-ocean/ Jessica Haye and Clark Hsiao http://www.artandmotion.com/all/artists--the-collaborationist Andy Warhol burger video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LDHSBVZpzc Noah Dillon/Hot Mess website https://www.noah-dillon.com/hot-mess-new-york